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Mistakes

I’ve made so many mistakes in the past week, months and even past two years. Dare I say my lifetime?

However I’m learning to quite literally “let go and let God”. It’s quite poignant in my situation and I feel as though others can relate.

The longer you stifle yourself with the guilt of your mistakes, the longer you suffer. This life is too short to suffer for long. After a lot of thinking, and soul searching, total and complete honesty is the best way to go. It might hurt. Your voice may shake (you may need a glass of good ole Pinot Grigio) but the weight of a million pounds will leave you and all you can do is know that God will take care of the rest.

He will forgive you of your sins long before you forgive yourself. Isn’t that helpful?? Well I think so.

Needless to say, this relates to nothing in particular but I just am in the midst of a form of “spring cleaning” of myself and my heart which has been hurt and full of guilt for far too long. I’m ready to just let it all go. The mistakes, the guilt, the pain, the hurt, all of it.

That’s not to say there will not be moments of this, but at least today I choose happiness. On an extremely bittersweet weekend in my life, I’m choosing to be happy for myself and even happier for those close to me

Enough of the sappy rant. But maybe someone else will read this, with guilt in their heart and decide to choose happiness with me, because that would be super cool…

Months in Photos

Another installment of being lazy.  I’ve been busy, c’mon! #sorrynotsorry  but I really am sorry for neglecting you, I just think the “cool kids” use that hashtag (also BTW I suck at hashtags which must mean I’m not cool AT ALL, eh.)

Went on hikes  (aka hot, sweaty, dog chasing mess) BUT! Loved every minute of it. Some of the times I look around and am so grateful to live in Arizona, I think it’s got pockets of beauty that are secret only to locals and I’m happy for that.

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I bought a fitbit!  LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.  I highly recommend it and their customer service.  Look one up here if you’re on the fence.  Super awesome for motivation for getting active and fit!

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My Valentine’s Day Present!!!! 18 Carats!  No……19 carrots….#soromantic
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We watched and LOVED the winter games.  Hayden thought the skiing was riveting…

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We drank champagne on multiple occasions for no reason…

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I think someone finally took a decent picture of me where I am not grinning like a 13 year old, have no makeup and look like a 14 year old, or have too much makeup on and look like a 30 year old (oh sh!$…I am almost 30….awesome…no offense to my 30’s crowd, I’m am willfully and proudly joining you soon so just hold onto your hats)

Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 10.55.30 PMThis is how I feel about working out all the time with little to no results (Don’t worry Pinot Grigio, I’ll never leave you…

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Trip to Rochester, Minnesota

COLD.  IT’S REALLY COLD.

Two days ago, I was putting up my Christmas tree in Scottsdale in a short sleeve shirt with the windows open and now I am in a negative degree location called Rochester, Minnesota.  Very, VERY COLD.

A few photos thus far!  I am here until Thursday so more to come…

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photo 1Lastly, me in some hipster glasses.  I need new frames – can I pull these off?  Apparently my mom wears hipster glasses.  Which means she’s cooler than me.  Awesome…

 

Few Weeks in Pictures

I’ve been traveling, busy with work, sick, tired, busy shopping, etc. so I’ve been absent for a bit.  Anyway, to quickly and efficiently make up for that, here is the past few weeks in photos – enjoy (or don’t whatever floats your boat…)

 

 

photo 1I was sick with a horrible cold for about 2 weeks and Keagan pup was by my side.  What a snuggle-bug

 

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I am going to Minnesota on a “Family Business Trip” (more to come on that) so I found a 11.99 immaculate and beautiful retro-chic coat!  #win

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I got these AMAZING jewelry pieces from some fantastic Instagram sellers, SO THRILLED!  These two necklaces go with everything!

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The husband turned 28.  We bought him a new smoker, all the necessary materials and other fun things.  A nice evening with his family and grandparents made for a great birthday for the guy.

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in light of the b-day, we went out to breakfast at a fabulous Scottsdale breakfast joint and enjoyed Bacon Bloody Mary’s….. #YUM

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On Sunday, we finally bought our Christmas tree and decorated the house in holy Xmas goodness.  I maybe went over the top but you probably don’t have to come into my house so no worries about my Christmas obsession.  It really IS the most wonderful time of the year!!!photo 3

 

And a dog butt for your enjoyment…

 

 

Polite insomnia

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My heart will never be whole and I feel like lots of people can identify with that. Pieces of my heart are left throughout the Southern states, Michigan, out West and a whole lot of it got taken up to Heaven. I doubt this will ever be rectified, rather just something I have to leave the anger of behind and just accept. I get angry because some people have it so easy to visit differnt parts of their heart in timeline of a single day and mine results in thousands of dollars in plane tickets and in some tickets that just can’t be bought with my already maxed out credit card

James Taylor

In my mind I’m going to Carolina. Can’t you see the sunshine, can’t you just feel the moonshine?
Ain’t it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind? Yes, I’m going to Carolina in my mind.

Karen she’s the silver sun, you best walk her way and watch it shine,
watch her watch the morning come.
A silver tear appearing now I’m crying, ain’t I? I’m going to Carolina in my mind.

There ain’t no doubt in no ones mind that loves the finest thing around,
whisper something soft and kind.
And hey, babe, the sky’s on fire, I’m dying, ain’t I? I’m going to Carolina in my mind.

In my mind I’m going to Carolina. Can’t you see the sunshine, can’t you just feel the moonshine?
Ain’t it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind? Yes, I’m going to Carolina in my mind.

Dark and silent late last night, I think I might have heard the highway calling.
Geese in flight and dogs that bite.
And signs that might be omens say I’m going, going I’m gone to Carolina in my mind.

Now with a holy host of others standing round me, still I’m on the dark side of the moon.
And it seems like it goes on like this forever, you must forgive me
if I’m up and gone to Carolina in my mind.

In my mind I’m going to Carolina. Can’t you see the sunshine, can’t you just feel the moonshine?
Ain’t it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind? Yes, I’m gone to Carolina in my mind.
Gotta make it back home again soon, gotta make it back on home again soon,
gotta make it back to Carolina soon, can’t hang around, no babe, gotta make it back home again,
gotta make it back to Carolina soon…

I’ll always be Southern

I’ve had a tough few weeks. A lot of work and travel for business and chaos that entails. Sheer exhaustion is an understatement.

Needless to say I wanted to go to my local watering hole when I got off a plane the other night, somewhere I feel totally comfortable at, love and have been to a million times. I just wanted one drink to celebrate my return home and a successful direction of a very important photoshoot in California that morning and it turned into a night from hell. I’m not going into details but in my just trying to be friendly and cordial, I ended up in a bad situation.

Something that could have turned more serious- meaning I don’t remember what happened after a particular drink if you catch my drift. I woke up remembering being hysterical when I got home and then bits and pieces from when I was at the bar, but definitely not drinking enough to be hungover, rather in a fog, dizzy and completely out of it- definitely NOT, and I MEAN NOT what a normal hangover should feel like.

I’m sad, embarrassed and upset that not only I put myself in a situation where something like this could happen but that things like this happen out there. I in my heart of hearts was just trying to be cordial, thank someone for an establishment that my husband and I frequent and now I don’t even feel comfortable setting foot in there any longer

In the spirit of thankfulness this month, I got home safe and sound.

However I feel like I can’t be independent like the person that I am. I’m an only child and I was raised to always be polite, sweet, and that I can do things by myself but apparently that’s not the case. I guess I still have some growing up to do.

I’m glad to get this off my chest in writing because it’s not a story, even though it’s not terribly serious and I was removed from what could have been a bad situation in the nick of time, I plan on divulging to too many people.

Debbie downer post, right?! Yuck! But I guess experience makes you stronger-learn from it and move on. I’m letting my guilt go and getting it off my mind. I’m sending this thought, guilt and sadness into the web-iverse and not taking it back so you are welcome web world, it’s yours to deal with now.

Ick.

Muy Caliente!

We are in Puerto Rico on the first leg of our 1 year anniversary vacation! Thank goodness! This vacay came just in time, we are both beyond exhausted. Enough about that, how hot is my husband?!?

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Random thought but I’ve always had a thing for guys in crisp, white, button down shirts and the dude delivered in the outfit department. Mucho Cuba Libres and Mojitos tonight and muy Caliente!

Oh and we saw like a million parrots and cats. Unrelated but muy importante…